Breakthroughs

It has been the most overwhelming week I've had to endure in quite some time. I've been handeling it all rather well, considering how altering some aspects have been. I've had additional responsibilities given to me with my new title at work, and with that, another person who will likely report to me. I'm being trained on interviewing on Thursday, then I'm afraid it will be madness until I have find up to four VSAs, a Weekend Manager, and train them all on things old and new (like the gift shop, which has most recently fallen into my hands). They know I am capable of the demands of the jobs and are putting their trust in me. I know I will be successful, largely because I don't know how to fail, but until I can dedicate all my time to my new job, juggling all of Visitor Services while continuing the Weekend Manager responsibilities is stretching me thin. Working 35 hours in a inconsistent way doesn't help much with my adjustment. Realizing how much I know about both buildings and what I will have to teach someone else - while training VSA staff - is almost going to be an impossible feat. But if anyone can handle that challenge, it must be me. I love my job. I often complain about it, sometimes blow up about it, but I love it. I run two major urban museums not only in the Detroit area, but in the country. And now I'll be overseeing all of the customer service aspects of it. How cool is that? No need to feel sorry for me working weekends or watching my job responsibilities grow to rival Mt. Everest, my job is important and it's fun and it's challenging. Excitement over my promotion has come and gone, nervousness has come and gone, but my confidence has never waivered. They want me to have this job and they want me to succeed - so much so that they are hiring another staff person to assist me. This will be a good thing.

For the first time since I've become a manager, I had a connection with one of my employees that tells me I am ready for this new position. Tiffany is one of my VSAs that has been a constant challenge. Whether she ever intentionally pushed my buttons or not, she did. There was never a weekend Tiffany worked that I didn't come home with a Tiffany story. All of them were negative. My nurturing was aimed almost entirely on her, and in the past five months, I feel that she has come miles from when I first met her. After Saturday, I have a Tiffany story. It is the ultimate story - though, it's probably just the second best. She asked me if Kathleen was leaving. (I think it's crummy she didn't tell them herself. Hell, she didn't even tell me.) I said yes, that I was moving to the manager of visitor services and soon I'll be on a M-F schedule. I said we'd be getting a new weekend manager, etc., etc. Her reply: "But I don't want to meet anyone new, Amy. I've gotten used to you now and I like you. I don't want another weekend person." I'm glad I was leaning against the stand at the Dossin because I could have fallen over. If I hadn't cried earlier that morning, I probably would have started then. I was stunned. I reached someone. After the week I had, it means the world to me. It still does. It will be the highlight for a long time.

I've been through all the emotions since a week ago Friday. It's an overwhelming and nearly exhausting change, but it's a good change, and it's a change I can handle. It will just take time. Sometimes I don't want to hear that it will work itself out because I want to know it will. Sometimes I don't want a guesstimate because I want to know exactly. Sometimes it takes an extra 200 miles and three hours of thinking time to concretely form an idea that sounds like a better understanding. Sometimes it takes the realization that the allowance of the smartass card has yet to be earned back and overstepping unknown bounds can throw it all off track again. But it's all part of the growing process and I'm pretty sure it all comes with the territory. So now I need to focus my rapidly changing career and be more fair, open, patient, and understanding with those who are my support system. To those who are the unintentional target of high stress and exhaustion, I must offer now my sincerest, deepest, and advanced apologies. It will cease.