Stuck in a rut at work largely due to the management above me, I've been stressed. My days have been nearly unbearable for far too long. I've come to the conclusion that I wasn't going to let them win and that I wouldn't go to work angry anymore. I shouldn't even care as much as I do while I'm there to get angry between 8-4. That is not always the case when supervising ten individuals, nine of whom require an extreme amount of guiding and coaching. But admist chaos, good things do happen, sometimes with kind words, sometimes with not-so-kind words:
* the executive director came to thank me personally for saving the museum - yet again - from floating down the Detroit River and said he truly appreciates my efforts in cleaning up, because not many other people step up and do that right away.
* when explaining the day's events at home and instead of hearing supporting words that I desire, I hear "why are you so angry all the time?" the velocity of that bitch slap snapped me right out of it. Starting Monday, I have a whole new perspective on the way I interpret things at work. And if they continue to stall the process, I am speeding up my search for a new job.
Sometimes I really wonder what my life would like if I actually did become a teacher, but then I am saddened by the possibility that I will never really get to do what I've always wanted to do. I can twist my job responsibilities in a way that will justify the idea that I am teaching with what I do, but I don't know if I always want to make it that difficult. Come fall, I think I am going to make it a priority to give the best tour I can - then sign up to give as many as my schedule allows.
With the house to myself this weekend I thought it would be a good time to spend time with my Goddaughter. I picked her up and went to see the Rat movie. I think it's bothersome that in every Pixar movie there is some element of getting separated from your family but how the family is always reunited and stronger than ever. After that we walked around the mall. Then we came home and ordered pizza and have been watching movies again. I think it's good that we're spending time together and that she's getting to the spend the night. And it's fun. It's taking my mind off the stressors of adulthood and reminding me of the simple things in life. I needed this. And while part of me is still torn and guilty and wanting to be supportive somewhere else this weekend, I think it's still important to remember my priorities and my family and that I can't be everyone to everybody about everything all the time. I have to learn to accept that that is okay sometimes.
No wonder I'm so exhausted all the time. That and we're turning more into Ray and Debra with every passing day.
28 July 2007
22 July 2007
Goin with the Flow
I haven't blogged in almost a month and I'm not really sure I missed anything, or was missed. Guess I've just been focusing on the day-to-day and finding other things to take care of instead of my blogger. But here's a low down on the off chance anyone actually reads this page anymore:
I've been both frustrated and overwhelmed at work since I've been training subordinates AND my new boss. The questions I started asking two months ago about things I knew would happen after our reorganization have only now started to come up, leaving me pissed off and unwilling to help find a solution since I've been nothing short of ignored in that same time frame. Heaven forbid anyone pay attention to the person with the foresight. I keep telling myself that this will pass and things will get better, but it's hard to care when things are always so negative around you. When I hear stories of team-buildinng and team-boosting activities from others, it just pisses me off even more. But then when I think about it, I probably have the most optimistic team at the Society and I have a lot of plans to make it even more so. Even if I get no recognition for it, at least I'll know that I'm making a difference for those that report to me. In some way, that is going to have to come back to me somwhere down the road.
I've watched the resilience of some yellowjackets whose home was destroyed and taken away yet they have the tenacity to rebuild in the same location. I often find that productivity increases when pissed off about something, but add being homeless to that mix and watch the nest come back.
I've spent some good times with good people and have had a lot of fun. I've tried to keep up with some kind of physical activity during the humid days. I've logged on to blog but couldn't find anything worthy of note, so I logged off and went on with my day - usually right to the kitchen to make dinner. I've gotten irritated when reading other websites and largely because the last time I checked, one could commute in two directions on I-96, but I kept quiet and forgot about it. I got a little sad that big news was transmitted via myspace instead of a phone call. Accepting as I am of technology and all the technological advances, maybe in this regard I still have an old-fashioned mindset. But maybe that's how people keep in touch nowadays and maybe the only reason I find that inappropriate is because my closest friends don't have myspace, forcing us to verbally communicate with each other instead of relying on the interweb and the other handful of my closest friends I see on a regular basis making big news easier to announce.
Time to get off of this thing and go back to enjoying the beautiful day.
See ya in another month or so, give or take a few days.
I've been both frustrated and overwhelmed at work since I've been training subordinates AND my new boss. The questions I started asking two months ago about things I knew would happen after our reorganization have only now started to come up, leaving me pissed off and unwilling to help find a solution since I've been nothing short of ignored in that same time frame. Heaven forbid anyone pay attention to the person with the foresight. I keep telling myself that this will pass and things will get better, but it's hard to care when things are always so negative around you. When I hear stories of team-buildinng and team-boosting activities from others, it just pisses me off even more. But then when I think about it, I probably have the most optimistic team at the Society and I have a lot of plans to make it even more so. Even if I get no recognition for it, at least I'll know that I'm making a difference for those that report to me. In some way, that is going to have to come back to me somwhere down the road.
I've watched the resilience of some yellowjackets whose home was destroyed and taken away yet they have the tenacity to rebuild in the same location. I often find that productivity increases when pissed off about something, but add being homeless to that mix and watch the nest come back.
I've spent some good times with good people and have had a lot of fun. I've tried to keep up with some kind of physical activity during the humid days. I've logged on to blog but couldn't find anything worthy of note, so I logged off and went on with my day - usually right to the kitchen to make dinner. I've gotten irritated when reading other websites and largely because the last time I checked, one could commute in two directions on I-96, but I kept quiet and forgot about it. I got a little sad that big news was transmitted via myspace instead of a phone call. Accepting as I am of technology and all the technological advances, maybe in this regard I still have an old-fashioned mindset. But maybe that's how people keep in touch nowadays and maybe the only reason I find that inappropriate is because my closest friends don't have myspace, forcing us to verbally communicate with each other instead of relying on the interweb and the other handful of my closest friends I see on a regular basis making big news easier to announce.
Time to get off of this thing and go back to enjoying the beautiful day.
See ya in another month or so, give or take a few days.