Captain's Quarters

View from my desk:

Window side of my office:

One corner:

Other corner:

Lost It

As a weekend manager, I have to deal with every problem every weekend by myself, and I can handle it. I'm able to skate through situations other people would crumble in. But this morning, I lost my cool and because I'm so discombobulated with my work load, I felt like I lost complete control of the situation. Add the Free Press Marathon being run a weekend later this year and using roads that are in my operation routes and I go nuts. I took a ten minute regrouping in my office and then went down to let everyone know that I was calm and apologized for losing it earlier in the day. They knew it was out of my character and was glad I was back on track.

Tomorrow, I have a VSA meeting and am hoping to start things afresh with them. As they will be my veteran staff now, I want there feedback and reassurance that everything will be okay as we go through this rather stressful transition. I also have to call and start to set up interviews. I am about to crack with this schedule and juggling everything. My goal is to be the type of boss that they can come to with problems and have an open communication policy when they notice something wrong. And I want us to be able to work together to troubleshoot the problem. Whether that is at all possible or not, I'm not sure, but I'm sure as hell going to try. And with enough effort, it will succeed.

If anyone has a spare air matress, could I borrow it? I think I have to live in my office for the next few days to feel like I have control over everything that is going on. I moved out my cozy cube Sat night to my new office. It's big and bare and needs some decorating. I should take my camera and post them so I can get suggestions.

I'm not rubbing it in, I'm just asking for help. And don't think that word won't come up about 1,000 times tomorrow in the operations meeting. I have a long list of concerns that only I could think of to ask. Darn my work ethic.

Random Nothingness

The only thing I have to post about is work stuff. Who wants to hear about that?

I hate my schedule. Even after I'm Monday - Friday, I'm sure I'll find complaints.

Until then, who the hell knows.

Breakthroughs

It has been the most overwhelming week I've had to endure in quite some time. I've been handeling it all rather well, considering how altering some aspects have been. I've had additional responsibilities given to me with my new title at work, and with that, another person who will likely report to me. I'm being trained on interviewing on Thursday, then I'm afraid it will be madness until I have find up to four VSAs, a Weekend Manager, and train them all on things old and new (like the gift shop, which has most recently fallen into my hands). They know I am capable of the demands of the jobs and are putting their trust in me. I know I will be successful, largely because I don't know how to fail, but until I can dedicate all my time to my new job, juggling all of Visitor Services while continuing the Weekend Manager responsibilities is stretching me thin. Working 35 hours in a inconsistent way doesn't help much with my adjustment. Realizing how much I know about both buildings and what I will have to teach someone else - while training VSA staff - is almost going to be an impossible feat. But if anyone can handle that challenge, it must be me. I love my job. I often complain about it, sometimes blow up about it, but I love it. I run two major urban museums not only in the Detroit area, but in the country. And now I'll be overseeing all of the customer service aspects of it. How cool is that? No need to feel sorry for me working weekends or watching my job responsibilities grow to rival Mt. Everest, my job is important and it's fun and it's challenging. Excitement over my promotion has come and gone, nervousness has come and gone, but my confidence has never waivered. They want me to have this job and they want me to succeed - so much so that they are hiring another staff person to assist me. This will be a good thing.

For the first time since I've become a manager, I had a connection with one of my employees that tells me I am ready for this new position. Tiffany is one of my VSAs that has been a constant challenge. Whether she ever intentionally pushed my buttons or not, she did. There was never a weekend Tiffany worked that I didn't come home with a Tiffany story. All of them were negative. My nurturing was aimed almost entirely on her, and in the past five months, I feel that she has come miles from when I first met her. After Saturday, I have a Tiffany story. It is the ultimate story - though, it's probably just the second best. She asked me if Kathleen was leaving. (I think it's crummy she didn't tell them herself. Hell, she didn't even tell me.) I said yes, that I was moving to the manager of visitor services and soon I'll be on a M-F schedule. I said we'd be getting a new weekend manager, etc., etc. Her reply: "But I don't want to meet anyone new, Amy. I've gotten used to you now and I like you. I don't want another weekend person." I'm glad I was leaning against the stand at the Dossin because I could have fallen over. If I hadn't cried earlier that morning, I probably would have started then. I was stunned. I reached someone. After the week I had, it means the world to me. It still does. It will be the highlight for a long time.

I've been through all the emotions since a week ago Friday. It's an overwhelming and nearly exhausting change, but it's a good change, and it's a change I can handle. It will just take time. Sometimes I don't want to hear that it will work itself out because I want to know it will. Sometimes I don't want a guesstimate because I want to know exactly. Sometimes it takes an extra 200 miles and three hours of thinking time to concretely form an idea that sounds like a better understanding. Sometimes it takes the realization that the allowance of the smartass card has yet to be earned back and overstepping unknown bounds can throw it all off track again. But it's all part of the growing process and I'm pretty sure it all comes with the territory. So now I need to focus my rapidly changing career and be more fair, open, patient, and understanding with those who are my support system. To those who are the unintentional target of high stress and exhaustion, I must offer now my sincerest, deepest, and advanced apologies. It will cease.

Trickery

I get so angry sometimes I can't stand it. But I get angry because I get really jealous. And I get really jealous because even though part of my life is taking off, others are lagging terribly. Then when I get really jealous, which turns to really angry, I just cry because I hate that I feel that way and that those thoughts even cross my through my mind.

And honestly, what part of W-E-E-K-E-N-D MANAGER do people not understand? For Pete's sake. Even if you're just fucking with me, it still stings, especially now, so close to the end.

Changes at the Helm

I have a feeling that for the next few weeks, it's going to be a challenge to keep my blogger up-to-date. For my daily readers, I just ask for your patience. I know it's annoying and boring when you check back and have nothing new to read. Especially when the post says the Tigers could clinch the pennant and they did in fact make it to the World Series, but four days later is the first time I have time to report that back. I'm not sure my reaction is worth anything now, so let's just bid our boys good luck and hope that whichever NL opponent they face, they can take. Nothing would be more exciting than seeing my Tiggies win the Series, this in a time that I can enjoy and remember for the rest of my life.

It's going to take a lot of adjustment to get into a Monday thru Friday mindset, really, for the first time in my life. I had a M-F job about five years ago, but I was in between colleges and didn't really care about my life at the time. Now this is a big step and the start of a career. I'm not in a classroom teaching kids but that doesn't mean that I won't be effective and successful and make meaningful impacts on the road that has been paved for me now. Once I get into the routine and accumulated to my new responsibilities and areas of focus, I will even have the power to change the programs into more efficient, better running areas of the Museum. It will be a lot to take on at first - I'm even kind of nervous about it - but I think I have a good enough support staff that will help me as I take one giant leap toward my future possibilities. I have but one question: What is a weekend?

The salary gives me the foundation I've been seeking to move out of my parents without having to worry about my other bills. I'll remain north of 8 Mile but will likely consider moving toward the Woodward (East Side/West Side) divide, just because it's a shorter commute. The benefits give me some sense of security to both my immediate future (insurance) and distant future (investments and pension). And I'm in a position to consider putting aside a good amount of my paycheck to help with that. Things are coming together nicely.

A year ago I was complaining something fierce about the friends I had that had full time jobs and no college degrees to back them up. I was jealous and angry. Then I found the weekend manager position and was hired and knew it was a great foot in the door. I was still upset because I had to have such a different lifestyle than anyone else I knew and had to work four jobs to keep up with my loan payments. Now I am down to one job and within the new few weeks will be transitioning to a schedule that synchoronizes me with everyone else. And while I'll be paying back my degree for the next eighteen years, it will pay off and now I can see it's worth. And yes, it's just coincidence that it is in history and I am working in a historical museum.

It's an exciting time and somewhat apprehensive. And now I have to go scout a primary care physician. Wish me luck.

Promote from Within

Today is the first day in three years that I won't be able to walk in the 5 mile Breast Cancer walk on Belle Isle. Instead, I get to fight the walkers as I go to open the Dossin later. And because I'm bummed I can't walk it this year, I gave my mom a hefty donation and sponsored her walk.

The Tigers are up three games to nothing and can clinch the ALCS. Holy crap! I'm very jealous of two, I mean 45,000 people who are going to Co Park tonight. I'll be watching in my cubicle when I should be closing the museum and then listening on the radio until I get back and watch the remainder of the game. Go get 'em Tiggies!

My meeting yesterday....yeah, I got promoted. Big time. And I'll have people reporting to me. And it will be a Monday thru Friday job after there is a new weekend manager hired and trained. My degree is worth something now. And I won't have to worry about making the payments anymore. I can relax a little and adjust to a new world. I have a grown up job now with a salary and benefits. I think they talked about the job with me in mind for filling it because I "have really impressed everybody" at the museum. It's exciting. The days will be a little crazy at first, but I start with the full-time hours on Monday. All the hardship I faced after graduation has now finally paid off. And who said Friday the 13th was supposed to be unlucky?

To Blog or Not to Blog

I wonder if I shouldn't wait until this evening to post, but what the hay, I have some to waste right now.

At 2pm, I will have perhaps the most important meeting in my professional life to date. And I'm not nervous about it.

Home is where the snow isn't? Living in populated areas isn't always a bad thing. It's generally ten degrees warmer during the in-between seasons and snow doesn't stick to the ground when it first falls. It probably didn't fall to freezing during the overnight hours either.

An East Lansing radio station can be heard until Warren. It's amazing, especially because it's State's NPR station.

There has to be at least one place that is hiring in the Metro Detroit area. But when one's heart is set on working somewhere else, how can I justify that wish?

Catching Up

It's been awhile, here's what you've missed...

-It's snowing in Michigan today. While others may view this as a horrible and dreadful rite of passage into the long winter months, I am excited. The cold weather will kill the pollen and other allergens in the air leaving me with a clear sinus cavity and feeling better. Soon. I don't like winter more than any other time of year, and in fact I'll feel this same exact way in about four months, but at any rate, a couple of really hard frosts (or snowfalls) and everything will be dead. Yay!

-I was at the game when the Tigs beat the Yanks. I unfortuantely missed most of the action, but was there for the celebration. I've never seen Comerica Park so alive before, the pride I felt was more than just for the team on the field. Though sadness also entered my mind: we had seats that looked to the west and the lights of the old Tiger Stadium stood out like a sore thumb. The last time the Tigers were this excited, they were there - and now the classic ballpark sits empty and echos a bygone era of the city's wonderful sport history. I felt bad for the coaching staff last year, particularly Tram, but Gibby too. They won the Series and couldn't lead the team out, now Leland in his first year is taking them further than they've been in nearly two decades. It's exciting and meaningful and a great thing to be a part of, but something about those 1980s Tigers just tug the heartstrings, even admist such a celebration. But I got over it real quick, Dude, we beat the Yankees, in the Playoffs. How often does that happen? The results of which lead losers to fly planes into buildings. Oops, that was harsh, especially since I didn't follow up on the story yet today. So yeah...

-Hockeytown's leftovers are a bunch of jerks. Despite the fact that I really might only know about nine guys on the Wings roster this season doesn't mean anything. Cujo gets emotional when he has to play against Detroit, more so in Detroit, even more so when he has to face a two-sided bastard on the other end of the ice. The Wings didn't need to beat him up so badly, but the Coyotes looked like they were just attacked by a pack of wolves. Holy crap. Lopsided games are not a lot of fun to watch, especially when it's the team you wanted to lose winning. Blah.

-Entering a former place of employment was interesting. It felt weird, but also made me realize how much I don't actually miss ushering. I was doing well all game - new person on the doors, not my friendly grey coats at the metal detector, no one from guest services I knew. I was able to skate by the ushers because I knew where to go and the seats on the ceiling helped, too. I even avoided making eye contact with one of my favorite beer guys because I didn't want to be bothered. But that's just silly, right? As my brother once said during a game I took him too, "dude, you're like a rock star in that place", I cannot enter the Joe unnoticed. It wasn't until the end that I really wish we just booked out of there and made up our minds outside. Instead, I was spotted by a few ushers who seemed oddly happy to see me. "Amy! Are you ignorning us?" haha. I said, no, that I got a real job, and it just wasn't worth it to come back to usher. They were happy for me, said my job sounded cool (yeah - I'm a manager at the Detroit Historical Museum, haha, they don't need to know my exact title), and that they'll miss me. That was nice. Then a couple door guys stopped me, asked me to take off my jersey (sorry - nothing wrong with Canadian Cujy) and asked if I was coming back. I said no, I got a real job (that was kind of fun to say). Then a couple of the beer guys asked me to get back to work. I said, it probably won't be here anymore. They just laughed and kept going. I watched my section from across the rink. Maybe as much as I watched the game. A couple of my favorite ticket holders were there, I should have gone to say hi and tell them good-bye, but I didn't want to climb back down those stairs and risk being spotted. If I make it back to the Joe this year, then I'll try again. Maybe then I'll be ready. Or at least officially retired.

-Snow, baseball, hockey. Yep, sounds about right. Now I think I'm going to watch a movie and take a nap. Try to bust this stuffy nose crap.

We're All Growed Up Now

After three and a half months, the baby is no longer a baby. Now it will go by it's proper name - the (Maui Blue) Pearl - as we celebrate this momentous turn on the odometer. And pay no attention to my lead foot, which by the way, was only going nine mph over the posted speed anyway.



















Why have I decided to call it the Pearl? Well, little to my readers' surprise, I operate two museums on the weekends, one of which is a maritime history museum. I spent the past eleven weeks guarding the helm of this small gem on the city's Isle and earned the nickname: Captain. It fits. Not long ago I acquired a captain's hat and so named my car the Maui Blue Pearl. I call it the Pearl for short, and no, Jack Sparrow won't mind - he was my first mate in a past lifetime and actually suggested I use the name for my own commandeered ship.

Back to Reality

The fact that I missed the Wings home opener didn't even phase me last night. I was actually quite relieved that I wasn't working because ushering while my allergies are acting up is the worst thing in the world. And it's even better that they lost. That team is going to go through some growing pains with the big names gone and retired, but it's all right, they'll bounce back. In the meantime we have Colorado and Philadelphia to cheer for - and you can add some Phoenix and St. Louis too, but only because I like the goalies there, not because I like the team. Hello, I'm from Detroit, you actually think I'd consider myself a Blues fan? Ha. Hahaha.

I don't like the Yankees. I don't like the Yankees for many of the same reasons hockey fans don't like the Wings. I especially don't like ESPN. In fact, nationally televised games are horrid events. I even hate it more when game times get changed because networks can't realize that sometimes, it should be more about the game than the ratings. The Tigers haven't been in the playoffs in 19 years - and they are playing the powerhouse Yankees. That's good baseball no matter how you look at it. Sometimes, particularly in October, the story should be just as important as the game. The history and the passion of baseball should overrule the capitalism of it all. And most importantly, all weekend games should be played in the evenings, especially when I have a ticket to one of those games. But no, instead I get to miss half of it because the main museum re-opened and now I don't get out of work until after 5:00. I have a great job and am in a great position, but I still get bitter sometimes. You'd think by now I'd have learn to deal with the weekend thing....*sigh*

The bitterness won't end with just the weekends. My pending additional hours will come in the evenings and weeks such as this where I've enjoyed every part of it -despite my lack of feeling well - will cease to exist. Every now and then I get glimpses of what it might be like eventually and how I can't wait for it to happen and wonder how it will work out since there really isn't a happy medium. Then I'm forced back from hopeful dreaming and have to return yander. I know that someday it might work itself out, that we won't have to deal with this anymore, but in the meantime, it just really sucks. And I need to get some Robitussin, stat.

Word to the wise: When in doubt, always buy the name brand Claritin. I think it works above and beyond compared to some store brands. And it's much easier to open.

Michigan, My Michigan

For a few weeks about four times a year, I hate living in this state. This is one of those times and it's all because the weather can't decide whether it wants to be 50 or 80 out. Leaves changing and falling only look pretty, but are a pain in my sinus cavity. When my allergies are haywire, there is little I can do to feel better, I just carry on but on a smaller scale. This week, I haven't had anything to do but lay low and adjust to my Claritin/additional sinus medicine regime and take cat naps all day. Depsite my lack of breathing and itchy throat, it really is the best. Unfortunately tomorrow it's back to the big leagues and Saturday morning will be here before I know it. My first weekend back to managing two museums solo in nearly three months. Think I can handle it? I even think that there is a new VSA to train at the Dossin this weekend. I can't wait.

Okie day, time for more drugs. And a nap. And a hope that the Tigs can pull some kind of miracle in Yankee Stadium.

Short End of the Stick

Sorry readers, for this abbreviated posting today. I just spent a good amount of time writing a very thoughtful and informative post, but who knows what happened and blogger logged me out when I hit publish. So here's what you missed:

• I got talked to about getting more hours at the museum. They are beyond confident that I will be able to handle my obligations as weekend manager and work events that are held in either building. They still have to discuss whether I will be hourly or salaried full-time, but that should be decided upon shortly. Either way works and again, it will take re-adjusting my schedule since these extra ten hours per week will be in the evenings or early mornings.
• I really enjoy babysitting my little cousins. After seven hours of meetings and cubicle work, playing football, baseball and having a four year old fall asleep on you is just what the doctor ordered.
• Per a suggestion on the phone yesterday, I took my car to Buff Whelan for managerial inspection of my windshield. I got there at 7 when service opened, he didn't arrive until 8:30. Good news: I finished the book I was reading in record time and picked up another one (yes, I keep at least two books in my car at any given time). So 8:30 comes and I pull around to the service doors and he comes out and says, nope, it's from a stone. I didn't argue, just pulled out and drove away.
• While in the service bay waiting for the manager to come out, I saw my salesman. Be it my car and color or his salesman memory, he remembered I was going to a concert that night I bought the Pearl and asked how it was. Even he couldn't see the point of impact, but I wasn't expecting them to actually agree it was a stress crack anyway. It was really nice that he remembered me. He first asked if I was there for an oil change, which makes since, seeing as I only bought it three months ago. I think he would have fell over if I told him it had 9700 miles on it already. Ha.
• I spent an hour on the phone trying to figure out how to replace this window. I made a claim through my insurance and am set to have it replaced tomorrow morning. So that's exciting.
• I am putting forth an conscious effort to stop being so impatient, intolerable, short-tempered, and go into swearing tirades whenever something I can't control happens. If it's out of my reach, I shouldn't let it get to me so much - because I realize now that it also gets to those around me, which really just makes me feel guilty and horrible. Getting pissed so rapidly does nothing for the situation nor does it solve anything or make it go away. I'm not sure what made me so wretched in the first place, but I've come a long way in a short amount of time and should only get better from here on out. I'm recovering and I don't want to be seen as the person who only sees badness around her. I'm done being that girl.

That in a nutshell is what I tried to blog earlier but knew I couldn't recreate. The bullets should help make up for lost words. ;)

Monday Report

This weekend was a success. The message got out and people listened, more importantly, people care. The word free brings out the crazies alongside the sincere, but all in all, it was an exciting thing of which to be apart. 9,000 people came through the museum this weekend. 9,000. 7,000 of those were on Saturday and Sunday, leaving me exhausted. I was falling asleep by eight last night, but made myself read a couple chapters, send some text messages, and then I was out by 9:15. When my alarm went off at 6:30, I still wanted to sleep. I don't think I am liking these dark mornings very much. Blah.

I would say that I'm looking most forward to tomorrow morning and a chance to sleep in, but driving home last night I noticed a crack in my windshield. There is no chip or point of impact, and the crack goes from the base to the middle, leading me to believe it is a stress crack. That means I have to call Buff Whelan on my lunch hour and go sit in a GM dealer's service department tomorrow. If it's a stress crack they have to replace it, if it's not, then well, I just really need it to be a stress crack. I don't have time for it to be anything else.

Long day Monday. 7 hours in a cube then a few more babysitting. Those kids are going in their bedrooms at 8, I don't care what Jody says. Ha. Then I'll have a couple hours to try and finish this book. ;)

Now, I have to finish getting ready for work. Byebye.